In the sea 10,000 feet down there is a single stone. I want to pick it up without getting my hands wet.
I want to know the stone. What are the secrets of the stone?
How can I live without knowing? I want to know what is
unknowable. I want the discipline of sitting and writing.
I want the guidance of the Teacher without a teacher.
I want to understand myself without
having to touch myself. I want to touch myself
without exposure. I want to feel enlightenment
without challenge, I want to pick up the stone.
What is the stone?
Let me wrestle with my own particular demons. Music
calls me back to the ancient tides of kings and war, I want
to know a different history, a different future.
I am healing the world by executing a way of being that I have failed so far.
I want to be inside the stone. I can’t help but get my hands wet.
I want to find my true self. I want to learn from you
while demanding nothing from you.
I want to find things in here that don’t pull me outside
I just want to dance inside myself.
The love inside of love that comes without yearning for the daylight.
I want to feel empty of myself. Exposed without privacy or protection.
My god, I’m grateful for you. I wish I had been braver
but I have no regrets. I would like to see you on the other side.
I want to love you without making love
Without holding onto any shape or
nonshape of what that looks like.
In the bottom of the sea there is a single stone called love.
I want to pick it up without attachment to a single
woman. I want to pick up love. I want to
dissolve ego into the sea. I want to
be one with the stone of love.
I don’t want to be apart from it
or try to transform it. I don’t want to change you
or make you love me again.
Rowing closer to the underworld, the disturbances
are very near. There are strange moments of surrender.
You don’t fight them, they are as real as wind.
The spaciousness of wind pours through the trees,
it pours through me.
Neruda asked, Why do the trees conceal the splendor of their roots?
In the daylight, the mind seeks clarity and explanation.
In the underworld, there is no discrimination.
Everyone is beautiful.
Notes on Zen talk by John Gallant.
This is an underworld time, a underworld journey. A time in the darkness. There is a time in every life when we must go into the darkness. No one goes through this life without heartbreak or death or great difficulty. It takes a while to realize this is the task that is given to us.
Aphrodite imposes impossible tasks on Psyche. She must sort of a room full of seeds. Impossible. She collapses broken, falls asleep. In the morning she awakes and the seeds are sorted. In the night, the ants came and sorted them for her. Unexpected help comes from outside. Or from an unknown part of your heart. Some unknown strength arises.
Psyche will meet a lame driver trying to load a lame donkey. And on the River Styx a corpse who pleads to be taken to the underworld. She must not help. In her hands she carries two honey loaves which she must give to Cerebrus. In her mouth two pennies she must give to the ferryman. In this journey to the underworld, Psyche must concentrate on her path. This is not the time to do extraneous things.
We can’t do things now — we’re in our homes — there’s an enforced simplicity. We can’t help people — unless that’s our path.
The stone is subjected to forces of water and dissolution. Have the appropriate feeling for this time.
Maybe it’s just your task to cry.
What is dissolving for you? What are the elements of your journey? In what way are you diving into the sea? We all want to participate in life. What is your impossible task? What is it that you should do? Just tell someone you love them.
In the underworld, there’s no agenda. If you connect with another in the underworld time, there’s just a spaciousness. In meditation, we try to not find fault. Also, don’t find fault with finding fault.